Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Anger is a root vibe

Constructive dialogue is essential for addressing anger, maintaining relationships, and preventing destructive outcomes.

It bubbles up from the root center when there is absolutely no other way, when there are no feelings of safety, no feelings of support from those around you, and a feeling that it just can’t be stuffed anymore until it explodes out in a torrent of rage.

But is there value to this? Is there some beneficial “thing” that can come from getting angry and exploding it out onto those around you?

Considering that it is an innate, built-in feature of the human psyche (and potentially other mammals or maybe even all kinds of creatures), there must be something that can come from it, even if it is not the best way to do things.

I have both been angry and exploded out, and also been directly in the line of fire of those types of explosions. Sometimes, they are reasonable.

In my experiences, they have been. Sometimes, when there is no other way to communicate a message (when you have tried everything else), it seems as though getting angry could convey the message when nothing else worked.

Some people won’t pay attention until you blow up in their face, and do it very specifically to communicate why you are upset with the behavior that they are giving to you.

Likewise, sometimes the only way for you to pay attention is to get yelled at, as long as the anger also comes with specific communication about why they are upset with your behavior.

It is likely that everyone will experience both sides of this equation in your life. Remember that it doesn’t make you a wrong person; it is simply a form of communication, and there is value in that.

Anger is only valuable if it can be used to communicate something. Once the anger is released, the communication can continue and build up back into more peaceful, loving emotions.

Suppose anger is just anger with no intent to resolve the emotions but to jab and poke and to get what you want. In that case, it will inevitably lead to the destruction of the relationship and the inherent connection between parties.

When there is no intent to understand why the other party is feeling what they are feeling, what is the purpose of communicating at all? There are far better ways to communicate what you feel if you have the opportunity, even if it is hard.

Sure, it might be easier to get angry, but with some awareness and love, it can be circumnavigated to create a much more peaceful resolution to the problem.

To do this, you must check yourself and really see all of the ways that you could have done better. Own it. Own it fully to the other party: “I’m so sorry, I could have done this better. I understand that you’re mad, and understandably so – I am working to resolve the problem.”

If you are angry at someone for how they acted or treated you, there may be calmer ways of communicating: “Hey, I want you to know that I am very angry with you. I feel hurt, betrayed, or whatever I’m feeling. Can we talk about it?” – See if it’s possible to open up the communication so that love can flow once more without everything having to break down to the Root.

If it does go there, and there is anger and yelling, remember that once it’s done, it’s time to move on. Don’t hold it over their heads as if they are genuinely bad people – work together to create a resolution so that everyone is happy and in balance once more.

इसे हिन्दी में पढ़े: क्रोध एक मूल भावना है

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