“You shouldn’t have said this to him,” my sister said to my friend.
“If you can’t appreciate something, tell the person in private, not in public. You don’t know how much effort he might have put through to make this.” She added.
Another day, my sister and my friend were checking out paintings from another friend. One of my friends criticized another friend’s painting in front of all of us.
Since I wasn’t a very experienced person in the painting world, I didn’t say anything, but my friend had a comment about it.
My sister felt that comment was inappropriate, and she said the above lines.
In that conversation, my sister focused on one thing, which I realized is important for all of us to understand. We need to understand the efforts someone has taken to do something. We might see the product in the present, but there might be years of invisible struggle behind that final product in front of us.
In such a case, if we directly put comments, it might demotivate the creator. That’s what my sister wanted us to understand.
We all have experienced these situations at home. Our mom cooks food for all of us in the family. Someday, it becomes tasty, other day it might not. But does that mean she didn’t put in the effort the other day? No, she did. Now, if we criticize her for not cooking well, then we are undermining her efforts.
Here, our actions should not be criticizing but understanding her efforts. Our appreciation on good days and understanding of the value of efforts on another is the key to motivating her in work.
If we can’t appreciate something, we shouldn’t criticize the same in public. We must always understand others’ limitations in public and criticize or suggest to them in person about their limitations. The criticism here means positive criticism. Positive criticism will bring desirable changes in person, and it will undoubtedly help a person grow.
Like, take the case. Your friend has started something new and asked you to review it. While you may feel he can improve, it is your immediate response to appreciate him/her for bringing their creativity to the world. Here, we must appreciate him in public and give him encouraging input in person. This would certainly bring motivation to his work.
We live in an era where people hesitate to help others to build something because they mostly think that helping others build won’t be beneficial for them.
But, in this particular thought, people forget that we also grow when we build others up.
It is effortless to comment or bring down someone’s motivation by saying mean things to others, but it takes high morale to help them build and motivate.
We need to build this kind of society around us. We need to be the positive builder for people around us rather than being one who is demotivating. Help people to learn their limitations, help them to grow with their limits. More often appreciate them for their efforts and creativity.
Importantly don’t be mean to people; understand their struggles and motivate them.